Review Post: May 4th Update
Before my review, I want to mention a non-Archive short story that recently delighted me: “Eat the Peach,” by Virginia Plain (a very short read, by the way). Virginia is a formal poet who is new to prose, and her poetic background helps her greatly. This was a contest story based on T.S. Eliot’s “The Waste Land.” Hers, more than any of the other entries I read, truly engaged the poem and in fact wove the story from its threads of lyrical insight and haunting resonance. Read the poem, then read her story. The parallels are absolutely ardent. The story itself is a lovely read for its vivid descriptions of place and personality even without an understanding of the poem. I hope Virginia polishes this and submits it to Simon. Apparently she was rushed with edits and wanted to work on this more, but it still came out wonderfully despite the rush. This, truly, is lyrical prose.
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As always, these are my opinions. I do review critically. If you don’t want honesty, don’t bother reading. Spoilers are in black text.
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8-bit, I will hurt you if there's no "Undertow" next week!!!
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“Errant”
by The Once And Future Kim
mc ff sf rb (1,970 words)
Well, I don’t like cyberpunk, at least unless there is a unique spin or exceedingly good writing to hold my attention. Kim emulated the style of another cyberpunk author a little too well for me to deeply enjoy "Errant." Most of this was standard cyberpunk description written with a glowing violet pen. Despite this, the writing had redeeming qualities I desperately hope emulation won’t squelch in future stories. The dialogue almost read like timid, erotic whispers, and there were a few places where the purple phrasing actually worked (the temple, for example; the purple really helped to convey Jacqui’s sense of unreality).
I found the description of the reefs alluring for the pleasant introverted feeling. This whole thing read like a soliloquy of emotions that was pleasantly broken when Jacqui met her goddess. Jacqui's infantile perception was gently echoed through this soliloquy. Her goddess’s tender though deliberate approach added a dynamic I would have enjoyed reading more of, but the body of the story was devoted to the redundant techie description that is the standard for this genre.
Kim is an author I really want to like. He does wonderful characterization, and I adore the wandering introverted headspace his narratives conjure. But he spends so much time emphasizing the draw of the Machine and the ridiculously cliché techie surroundings in such a derivative way that, sans very short pieces such as this one, I can’t force myself to read his work.
There’s a genre labeled “post-cyberpunk” that focuses on the social struggles of advanced societies as opposed to the doom and gloom of the inevitable drowning of humanity by technology. I think “Errant” falls into this genre, which is a plus.
I find myself struggling to work out the emotions Jacqui’s infantile view of reality and her interactions with Chiron stirred in me. There was poignant emotion in their encounter, and Jacqui’s limited view of reality was almost tearfully beautiful in its dangerous innocence. Please focus less on writing a genre piece and do more of this gorgeous characterization and interaction!
The cyberpunk description felt clunky because it screamed of setting up a genre piece instead of actually helping the story. A little of that was helpful, such as the reefs and Jacqui’s method of clothing herself, but the rest felt like a constant tap on the shoulder to remind me what genre I was reading. I thought I smelled a hint of video games and some of another author's specific fixations, but the characterization and headspace were almost unmatched in poignance so far as my reading on the Archive (and certainly of cyberpunk stories) goes.
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Tell Madam to post more! At least she has been writing, lately. And Fru won a Spiral! I knew she would. I'm sad that Gasman didn't, though, and I'm actually vaguely annoyed that "Go Team Porn!" did. At least red was a tie—though a horribly insulting one to Iago and 8-bit. I would have been happy to see either of them win, even over Madam, and I was secretly hoping for the niftiness of a three-way tie (though I knew it was incredibly unlikely). In the end, I find the awards themselves horrendously amusing and am glad true quality was recognized in a few areas, including cyan: congratulations, Nex! Apparently sex isn't the primary interest of all cyan readers. ^.~
~Valbot
* * *
As always, these are my opinions. I do review critically. If you don’t want honesty, don’t bother reading. Spoilers are in black text.
* * *
8-bit, I will hurt you if there's no "Undertow" next week!!!
* * *
“Errant”
by The Once And Future Kim
mc ff sf rb (1,970 words)
Well, I don’t like cyberpunk, at least unless there is a unique spin or exceedingly good writing to hold my attention. Kim emulated the style of another cyberpunk author a little too well for me to deeply enjoy "Errant." Most of this was standard cyberpunk description written with a glowing violet pen. Despite this, the writing had redeeming qualities I desperately hope emulation won’t squelch in future stories. The dialogue almost read like timid, erotic whispers, and there were a few places where the purple phrasing actually worked (the temple, for example; the purple really helped to convey Jacqui’s sense of unreality).
I found the description of the reefs alluring for the pleasant introverted feeling. This whole thing read like a soliloquy of emotions that was pleasantly broken when Jacqui met her goddess. Jacqui's infantile perception was gently echoed through this soliloquy. Her goddess’s tender though deliberate approach added a dynamic I would have enjoyed reading more of, but the body of the story was devoted to the redundant techie description that is the standard for this genre.
Kim is an author I really want to like. He does wonderful characterization, and I adore the wandering introverted headspace his narratives conjure. But he spends so much time emphasizing the draw of the Machine and the ridiculously cliché techie surroundings in such a derivative way that, sans very short pieces such as this one, I can’t force myself to read his work.
There’s a genre labeled “post-cyberpunk” that focuses on the social struggles of advanced societies as opposed to the doom and gloom of the inevitable drowning of humanity by technology. I think “Errant” falls into this genre, which is a plus.
I find myself struggling to work out the emotions Jacqui’s infantile view of reality and her interactions with Chiron stirred in me. There was poignant emotion in their encounter, and Jacqui’s limited view of reality was almost tearfully beautiful in its dangerous innocence. Please focus less on writing a genre piece and do more of this gorgeous characterization and interaction!
The cyberpunk description felt clunky because it screamed of setting up a genre piece instead of actually helping the story. A little of that was helpful, such as the reefs and Jacqui’s method of clothing herself, but the rest felt like a constant tap on the shoulder to remind me what genre I was reading. I thought I smelled a hint of video games and some of another author's specific fixations, but the characterization and headspace were almost unmatched in poignance so far as my reading on the Archive (and certainly of cyberpunk stories) goes.
* * *
Tell Madam to post more! At least she has been writing, lately. And Fru won a Spiral! I knew she would. I'm sad that Gasman didn't, though, and I'm actually vaguely annoyed that "Go Team Porn!" did. At least red was a tie—though a horribly insulting one to Iago and 8-bit. I would have been happy to see either of them win, even over Madam, and I was secretly hoping for the niftiness of a three-way tie (though I knew it was incredibly unlikely). In the end, I find the awards themselves horrendously amusing and am glad true quality was recognized in a few areas, including cyan: congratulations, Nex! Apparently sex isn't the primary interest of all cyan readers. ^.~
~Valbot
posted by valbot at
3:59 AM
9 Comments:
Thanks, Val. I was ridiculously chuffed about winning. But I suspect 'Before I Forget' won because it didn't have any explicit gay sex and thus garnered the majority of non-cyan votes. If only gay men had been allowed to vote in the category, I'm certain it would have come in last.
Now, I have to find Ms Plane's story and read it. I have too many people recommending things for me to read. I shall never get through all of them.
Post more, Madam the K, mk?
Hi valbot :p
PS: It's fun to try to say the word verifications out loud -_-
Well, I was insanely pissed off for a bit over the red tie until I stood back and realized I should laugh at this whole thing. Believe me, "Go Team Porn!" winning in purple shows how utterly ridiculous these awards are--motivated mostly by authors who are around to nudge their fans to vote, clique mentality, and gags such as a bunch of people saying, "everyone vote for GTP! because it'll be sooooo funny if it wins!". I think the cyan category was the only one that didn't have any of that going on, a more 'pure' vote if you will. Yellow's winner, "Melted Music", was also a blessedly worthy story.
But... I doubt you would have come in last! Don't be silly. ^^ I tried to read ONIX's; I couldn't get into it at all, and I kept thinking, "This is a gay story...why are we starting off with a female coven and needless familial exposition?". Not that family backstory and females have no place in cyan, but that seemed to be the bulk of the story and a weird way to introduce things. He had a few immature grammatical mishaps that made me wince, too. According to a friend, the story jabs at fluffybunny Wiccans and other Pagan cliches, which sounded nifty, but...ew. I just couldn't get into that story and would have been absolutely shocked if it had won. I tried to read "Latex Manacles", too, and it wasn't awful...but it didn't possess the level of prose artistry and storytelling ability that your two finalists exuded.
I still need to read much of what you recommended. Real life! Silly offline endeavors making me not read all the yummy MC stories I have on my list . . . *pokes real life with a frothing wand* I got to these two since MK helped edit them. I felt like not reviewing them would have been a little insulting. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have gotten around to reviewing this week.
soeroah: I hate the reverse Turring tests, too. x.x;; I'll see if Madam can disable that. We're probably going to make it so only people with Google or OpenID can post, which would rid us of both the annoying cowardly comments and the CAPTCHA headache.
Aw, I'd have to rename my Google account to Soeroah, then.
Cgvha. Sounds Goa'uld or Kligon-y. Or Kinichawawi.
Post more, MK. :)
I'm one of the ones who didn't vote for GTP. Agh! I couldn't even finish reading it!
soeroah: qa'vIn! humanai kuvest' *growls*
Wyn: You too? I did read it through once, and some of it was tearfully hilarious, but I only read it through ONCE. That definitely did not deserve a Spiral! I wish MK hadn't asked people to vote for it. I didn't even nominate it. Penny's piece was a rare bit of cyberpunk done awesomely, and I was really hoping Writerzblocked's sudden gigantic leap in quality would be recognized.
I think my comments on GTP when I first read it included running away screaming after the second part. It definately was humourous, but I wanted Penny's story to win.
"Human coffee slave? :)"
And call me either Soe or David, like MK sometimes does.
PS: Curses! To Gmail!
Soe, yes. Valencia needs her coffee, damnit! Ask MK: I really am a Klingon-halfling.
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