Return of the Kistulot

It's been just a little over a month. Crazy, huh? I'd gotten better, too.

Well, it's an appropriate place to have been stopped for a moment or two, isn't it? Storywise, this is similar to having reached The Memory Remains in the original series, and that was where I had a bit of lag.

As you'll remember however, following that my writing gained a new form of regularity and I plowed through lead ins between almost every story, TAP, ISP, TS&O, and RMR.

I was lulled away from writing by a combination of bronchitus, work stress and my birthday. Well, that's all better now! My mother's birthday hits next month, and she's asked to watch the Wizard of Oz while listening to the dark side of the moon for her party of sorts on my HD TV. For those of you who don't know, the Wizard of Oz is one of those movies that quite affected me as a child. I think TMR (oddly enough) makes this apparent, but if not there it goes for the record. It'll be fun.

For writing? Ink Stained Reunion is well under way. I'm looking forward to this weekend being it's debut. It'll probably take the month for me to finish, but there's nothing wrong with that.

Some reasoning for my lost momentum may be that the Archive hasn't been a place I've particularly enjoyed reading for awhile. No huge rant here, jsut dissappointment. Back in highschool I would sometimes get through the week hoping for some new trilby or tabico, something exciting, enticing, way not supposed to be something I read about. It feels like something in the archive has been lost. I probably helped, but I'll be doing what I can to add my voice anew.

Carpe Argentum!!!

Bloggu, revenge of the blogazor!

Once again, I got the story done . . . a couple days too late! So, here you go . . .

Electrum Volume 12: The Lights at the End of the Tunnel

Tada! A little late, but still in plenty of time for everyone to read. I hope to maybe get Sylvia's next volume done for the weekend too, as they parallel nicely and lead to their crossover event quite beautifully.

Work has been a little stressful, but nothing I can't handle. Next week I get a four day week, but I will be busy on Christmas. I have half-plans with my mother to see sherlock holmes.

I can't wait to see it.

For now, at least you get another volume of electrum, and Nebula is hot on its tails. Wish me luck, comment, fanmail away, you know, the regular :)

~Madam Kistulot

For the first time, I say before Simon!

So my loyal fans, what is it, you ask, that makes the subject line of this post true?

Well, I was sick last week, and therefore was quite a bit behind writing schedule. Instead of making you all wait, and since Simon's new formatting makes it so we can't steal his source code anyway (yeah, we'd been doing that for awhiiiile) I personally took the time to update the site. Val stayed up late marking up Nebula, and I woke up, finished my edits on it, and then coded it up, put it up, added descriptions to fan art . . . voila.

It's not a lot of fun to go through putting

tags and

tags everywhere, but a chickies gotta do what a chickie's gotta do! You, my fans, deserved this on-time update.

Also, last night I found my long lost word count document and brought it up to date. I had to show off the results.

Silververse:
The Adventures of Silver Girl: 86,702
Silver Eclipse: 72,444
Nocturnal Interlude: 4,808
The Memory Remains: 66,797
Wherever I May Roam: 14,784
Dust High: 15,701
Misted Facets: 13,297
Informant: 4,560
The Argentum Project: 100,763
(Arc: 153,913)
Poetic License: 11,068
Ballpoint to the brain: 7,035
Ink Blots: 6,583
Blotted Lace: 5,794
Sealed With A Kiss: 5,512
Ink Bot: 9,176
Prequill: 7,814
Ink Soaked Penumbra: 74,818
(Arc: 127,800)
Obedience Over Matter: 2,299
Silver Gray Starlight: 11,844
Pink Candy: 4,493
To Serve and Obey: 58,605
(Arc: 77,241)
Red Moon Rising: 88,751
Scribe and Shadow: 15,519

Total: 689,167

Electrum:
Volume 1: Electrum Impulses: 19,478
Volume 2: Roadside Justice: 5,432
Volume 3: The Spiral: 3,204
Volume 4: Hope: 3,920
Volume 5: Hope and Family: 7,424
Volume 6: Spiraling Forward: 6,990
Volume 7: Unraveling Transmutation and Hopeful Tethering: 5,898
Volume 8: Company Loyalty: 13,286
Volume 9: Floral Engagement: 12,729
Volume 10: A Magical Evening: 11,979
Volume 11: Out of Time: 14,954

Total: 105,294

Nebula:
Volume I: The Soaring Phoenix: 19,337
Volume II: Free Will's Fermata: 5,452
Volume III: Song and Storm: 4,474
Volume IV: Nebulous Struggle: 3,739
Volume V: Obedience's Refrain: 2,838
Volume VI: Phoenix Coda: 4,313
Volume VII: Ballad of Justice: 7,484
Volume VIII: Galvanized Melody: 7,233
Volume IX: Searing White Siren Song of Glory: 4,773
Volume X: Symphony of Falling Glass: 5,994

Total: 65,637

Rose
Rose Petals: 6,490
Rose Miracles: 11,070
Rose Rejuvination: 5,301

Total: 22,861

Mariana
The Day After: 4,843
The Fourth: 2,979

Total: 7,822

One Shots
Never Far Away: 2,041
Coping Mechanism: 10,434
Landing On Her Feet: 7,182
I've Got a Fever . . .: 2,233
Unit 9: 7,043
Paradise: 3,503
Exvolensation: 1,705

Total: 34,141

Grand Total: 924,922

This of course neglects the latest tale that I have to add in after I'm done with this post, but am too lazy to do now. This means since I've been writing for the archive (Unit 9 and Coping Mechanism by the way only use the rewritten values) I have only 75,078 polished words, not counting Nebula Volume XI, until I break one million.

I don't know what to say.

I want to thank all of you that read the blot, that contributed fanart, that well, tolerated my sometimes sporadic updates. I want to thank everyone who was happy when I created the Argent Garden forum, and then everyone who kept reading my work after I left once, then twice. I know I'm a rather thorny person, attempting to be warm but then storming off and locking doors, but some few of you have tolerated it at least for the sake of my writing - and honestly that's what I care about most.

Events in the Silververse are heating up. Darksong, another contributor to the greater Midasverse as I call it, has another story going up that may lead to an actual Silververse-Omegaverse crossover. New technologies introduced in Electrum Volume 11 lead well to a crossover with Once and Future Kim's Wires.

I only wish Decker were still about for some fun Psyche and Fractal fun.

That said, I admit it would be fun to have a more expanded Midasverse. I've attempted to do that through varying my style between Electrum and Nebula, but that only provides a little bit more. More unique, distinct voices could be fun. Oh well, right?

My lovely erislave and I might work on a webcomic together, and it MIGHT be Midasthemed. Since she'll be doing the hard part, I want her to make the call on that. If it happens, I'll let you all know here.

Hrm, lets see, what else is there to tell . . . Holidays are approaching, and I'll be doing damn near everything I possibly can to get Nebula Volume XII done by the end of the year. The event to follow is one I don't want to push back, even if there's no way in hell I can finish it by the end of the year. Then, I see another set of stories panning before us, finishing out the Sisters' stories by the end of 2010.

I'm tempted to go about commissioning some art of Sarah, Lacie, Jacqui, and Leona all posing together, or all mind fried together. I think I just might.

Good writing does two things. It makes you want to read, or it makes you want to write. I've done both, and while after I finish my tales in Midas I intend to withdraw from posting actively on the archive, I hope my writing is still able to have the same effect.

Again, thank you all, and I hope you're having a lovely holiday season.

~Madam Kistulot

Late Update!

So, I have a lot to say, and frankly, this took me too long to get to. Sorry about that. Life isn't getting in the way, but how much it has been getting in the way I've been a little lazy when I've had the capability.

New Super Mario Bros Wii came out yesterday, and I spent a good long time playing through a majority of it with Val. Was lotsa fun. We'll need to finish it still, but i feel satisfied mariowise. Chucking people you love off of cliffs? its a great stress reliever. Trust me.

A very sweet fan, amusingly named the same as my first glittering heroine (Sarah, not Silver Girl, silly) granted me a legitimate key for Windows 7 Ultimate - so I'm finally off of the XP train. So far really preferring it this way. A thing here or there isn't doing just what I want (Paint Shop Pro 7 isn't very happy with me - maybe because it's not the only 7 anymore?) but overall it runs faster, feels slicker, and is preeeetty. So that's all that matters.

Got Valencia a new laptop, a Toshiba Satellite. You never notice how small a netbook is until you stack it on top of a real laptop. Wow. Sylvia is TINY. Sylvia, incase I haven't said it, is the name of my netbook as my old desktop was named Aurora.

Aurora is getting so very close to some very big plot developments. Its so hard to restrain myself, but this needs to be done right or it'll be pointless. There's so much right on the verge of "popping". Sylvia has some things coming her way, but differently.

Their crossover is getting closer and closer, too. If I focus a little, maybe it'll be a sort of winter-season present? I'm not sure if I'll be able to make that deadline for starting it off/finishing it, but it's what I'm mentally aiming for.

Work has become stressful in a whole new way. People are leaving my contract. A lot. But still, we're "overstaffed." My hours have been cut back to 37 hours a week. To be honest? Any excuse not to be at work that doesn't get me fired or make me look worse. The job has become more exhausting, and I've actually recieved a pay cut for taking a "promotion."

So life is stressful. Val is happy. Mario is fun. Stories are moving forward.

Fanmail more appreciated than ever!

~Madam Kistulot

Four more years! Elect LaSilvas!

Okay, so work has calmed down, so why so slow now eh? Good question. This morning the max broke down, more details on what a max is at the Trimet Website, but previous to that? Exhaustion and writers' block. I've capped 55 stories in four years on the archive. Four years.

Its quality though, not quantity, but I'd like to think I've got that, too. Maybe not every story, and the earlier could use a rewrite . . . but I'd like to think they're worthy additions.

I'd have a mite fewer if I hadn't played with story conventions a little. Lead-ins were fun. After a nearing event, Nebula will revert to a more classic multi chapter story. Electrum seems to work best this way - but feel free to chime in if you dissagree.

Four years . . .

That's highschool. Thats a bachelor's degree. Thats longer than most marriages . . .

Sarah was born in June, so she's been four for awhile. Old enough to go to preschool, and get ready for kindergarden. She'll make an adorable school girl in a year or two.

She still has years before her chronological existence is jailbait, but we know how she'll turnout. Mmm.

Okay verge of creepy There. Sorry! Regardless, more should be coming, but I'm not promising as rigorous a schedule. I just can't keep up with it. I'm not going to purposefully go slow, but I don't know how well these deadlines are working for me or for story quality. So, apologies, but things might come a little slower. Probably not much than as of late, but hey . . . at least I'm posting, and rather regularly.

Gotta have something else in the update besides lisa teez in red, eh?

That's all for now,

~Madam Kistulot

Stress, or "This is the job I don't get payed for"

Well, this can't be good, right? Posting but not with a good subject line?

You'd be right.

Work has been hellish, and even though when I'm not fixing everyone else's mistakes (besides my actual right beside me co-workers!) there's plenty of time between calls . . . All this week I've been working overtime. I'll be working even more overtime come next week.

My employers hinted this is intended to run all of the way through christmas.

Ain't that just cute?

So, Electrum 9 is basically done, but needs an ending, and lots of polishing. Next update. Maybe.

I haven't really had a lot of time for MCstories lately. Two stories are currently open in my browser in different tabs, but I've been slow to even start on them. Life's just been a little too hellish.

Hope you're all having a better time.

Sick

Yes, I am immune to many things, but physical ailment? Far from it. I am sick. That's why I missed the update, and why I'll be missing another. It is very hard to write sexy when you're miserably sick. Sorry about that.

~Madam Kistulot

Missed update, missed lover

Well, by now you've noticed that I missed the update. Sorry. I'll be trying to get both Sylvia and Aurora in to this sat/sun's update.

Reason? The lovely eri was visiting us from her lands far across the eastern horizon. Was somewhat occupied. She left portland last night, and I go back to work today. Feeling the smallest touch melancholy, but fine otherwise.

Also tired. Very tired. Couldn't sleep. I'll be awake for at least 26 hours by the time I get off work today.

I'll be sleeping well tonight.

~Madam Kistulot

Champions Online Closed Beta

So, I'm in the closed beta! :)

You can vote for Silver Girl here if you like the way I've captured her. Or not. It's up to you. I think I did pretty good considering my first spin at character creation!

I can't break the NDA, so I can't really talk about it. Sorry.

Still, you'll love it!

~Madam Kistulot

p.s. Nebula has been sent in, even if there's a Friday update it'll be ready. Electrum's latest is taking longer because it's interesting, as previously said.

Nebula Volume II? What?

Hello there!

Any of you who have read through the latest story will see a typo. Next week, Nebula Volume II? Teh whatz? This is very easily explained as a typo. It should be Volume VII. That is the one big negative against roman numerals, and that I add my authors notes in last as a finishing touch.

Sorry for the confusion, and I hope you're enjoying.

Things next next week are going to take a bit of a different turn with Aurora getting a self contained third-person story. It's going to be a big departure, but I hope you'll all enjoy it.

Next week, Nebula gets a twist thrown in. Apparently the name for Volume VI I've heard is misleading. Phoenix Coda was referring to the Phoenix's Coda. Not Nebula's. Or John Bonham's comeback CD.

So, clarifications, and best wishes I suppose! I ought to do more of these, but the heat in Portland has been MISERABLE as of late. Mostly just trying to stay cool and alive. So, until next time!

~Madam Kistulot

Soooo I'm not good at keeping up with the blot!

Sorry about that!

I've been good at keeping current with updates, and that's what matters. The recent chapter was very hard to get out, and I apologize if it doesn't have the same kick you're used to expecting. It felt like it was missing something, but in the way where I could have spent five years not posting it and had it make no difference. Since the whole point of this writing exercise for me was to attempt more serial work, keeping up is important. Its tricky, but important.

Next week's Nebula is going to be a very interesting one, and I hope I can make it pack as much punch, eroticism, and foreshadowing into it as I possibly can. Both are getting very near the end of their introductory stories. After that, there will be another two extra-big volumes, which may not be posted all at one, may be, we'll see, and then there will be a crossover. Look forward to it, but I refuse to spoil any details.

Work has been a little hectic. People getting fired left and right due to being dumbasses. A guy at my job - a supervisor no less - was actually found in the bathroom with a needle full of heroin. Well, once full. Fired. One guy was hanging up on customers. Fired. My supervisor likes to joke in our team meetings that there's a bulletten to keep in track of every week: the new way to get yourself fired.

If you do your job, you will get paid and remain employed. Mayhaps, you will even be promoted as I might be - more news on that soon. Its pretty much a given, but I want to be sure before I blog it anywhere.

Regardless, things have been a little bit stressful, and after some less than fun people were met on the snappville site, I felt a little bit less like being public for awhile. Its just hard to believe the nerve of some people. If you want them to leave you alone, you block them, that doesnt mean try another account . . . but I digress.

More writing next week, a big one. I'm taking a vacation from work in august, but I think that I'll still get up stories on time. Anything more, well, you'll hear about it another time!

I leave you with pictures of my new computer, Atma Genji. Why Atma Genji? She glows blue like the atma weapon, and she has a dual core proccessor.

If you don't understand that, play more Final Fantasy Six.

*Atma
*Glowing Atma
*Atma breaking the Warp Speed Barrier

Until next time!

~Madam Kistulot

A little late, but more than Simons got!

I know, the guy works nearly year round - he deserves a vacation. Hell, I appreciate the slacking time. I have a backlog that admittedly will appreciate the extra work I'll be doing it, and the break. Breaks are nice. Unless they're broken computers, but that goes without saying.

When I get home, I'll take a shot or two of Atma. Atma Genji. Oh my precious computer. Way more than I need . . . but isn't that the whole point?

I'm on the new commuter train right now, the WES. For more details, go to www.trimet.org. Its a pretty awesome train, thats not actually run BY trimet, but for it. Which means it actually works, on time, and so forth. I think its the best thing trimet has ever made, even if it is at times a little bumpy. Awesome seats, no need to stand, and the chairs recline slightly! Plus? Free wifi, which I am using now to type up this blog post.

Game fuel is back again by the way. Stop by your local soda dealer and pick some up. Tell them MK sent you. They wont do anything special, but I'd appreciate it.

I've resisted myspace, but I can be found on hypnotize me! a social networking site for hypnosis. Its honestly better to poke me by instant messenger, but I know I'm not always on. Also, I am migrating to madamkistulot@live.com as opposed to my ancient hotmail that no longer works for email anymore, anyway.

There is lots more planned for Aurora and Sylvia, but I find myself more and more wanting to do something more visual with them/other characters. Maybe I just need to write something else and more often, but maybe also my visual artist friends and script writer friends are rubbing off on me. Both are equally likely as far as I can tell.

In other news, the flash cartoon that I am essentially co-creator of is all but finished. After some menus are action scripted, and I finish the subtitles, it'll be finished. Its about 22 minutes, which is about the same ammount animated of a half an hour cartoon. Its "The Legend of Link: Oh god yes, and spiders". The title is amusing as hell, and so is the actual comic. I only have one line, two words, but I am responsible for lots that has been done for it, including the originam remade theme that I'll need to link to here some day, even if its less Madam Kistulot and more Carin McLeoud. Under the Cowl is fine time to time I hope, as it tends to kill people just like it killed batman. Poor batman. poor batman superman from the planet of the capes.

I havent had any more trips to the comic store, mostly because I realized I am a highly impressionable writer, and those comics were not good for me. Especially not with some of the things going on. The Dark Reign, the Blackest Nights . . .

And people complained when I killed Olivia.

Another thing worthy of note, is that today is my first day going to work completely without the aid of crutches. This might not be interesting to you, but I've been on them for nearly half a year.

Goddess, do I hate crutches.

So, until next time, aka tonight . . .

~Madam Kistulot

p.s. god damn it, Batman is dead and the Phoenix is coming back to life. Does anyone see a problem here?

Still not dead!

You know how you remember to do things right after you save them/send them? There's no "next week!" Teaser. Bah. Oh well! Electrum Volume 5 will be out next week even if I'm a space case.

Speaking of space casery, the first two stories of my comeback have no editing but my own. Honestly. Stresses caused me to want to do it on my own, and Valencia along with several others lead me to well . . . take that thought under advisement, and I ended up deciding I could use an editor after all, even if just type editing, which honestly is very very important.

Very.

So, I have my new computer. Atma. Pictures will surface soon. she's dual core, and has a very double theme to her case design, so I am calling her Atma, with the last name genji. If you know why you're awesome.

So, more will come. Realize it. Accept it. Embrace it. Eventually it may become something you don't want, but I hope not. Their stories are honestly going differently than I intended, though the moment of reentwinement remains the same. I figure somewhere around their collective volume 12s is where I'll bring them back together agfter a single story from neither of their perspectives.

It all depends on how things go, I guess!

Thank you everyone who has shown your support. I'm exhausted, and still setting up my new computer, so I'm going to leave you all now to your own ends, and wish you a wonderful week!

Not dead. Yet.

So, if you're reading this, you probably saw the update to mcstories.

If you're seeing this before the update, sorry to ruin it. Nebula Volume III should be at least vaguely worth the wait. I have heard some criticism that its panning out too much like Silver Girl - but that's not where its headed. I know, a writer needing to explain their work is the first sign that something isn't going well, but I hope you'll disagree.

Anyway, as posted before, work has been exhausting. What with over 75% of the people I used to work with quitting or being fired, and then being slapped with customer surveys that were meant for other agents . . . work has been a lovely hell. Tech support isn't very fun when you work for companies that care one hundred and fifty ten percent more about their customers than their employees.

On top of that, I have tuberculosis. Don't worry, apparently I've had it for . . . two years? I'm on pills for months. They aren't bad, but it is very third world level frustrating. So yes, I'm a carrier for a very deadly disease. The state of Oregon is paying for my treatment.

Early January, well before my medical kicked in, I was on a bus that sped off before I could finish sitting down and my knee popped out of place. Wound up on crutches. Once I was down to one, ready to ditch it... something popped, literally, out of the other knee. So back to two. Down to one again, we'll see how that goes, but being mobility impaired is very difficult. Nothing makes stairs better than ramps, but there are no fucking ramps into my apartment building, or complex. Damn Oregon for being at a forty-five degree angle.

So, sans a lovely visit from Erika back in March, this year has been a difficult one so far. Good thing is that suffering leads to good writing. A calm in the storm often helps this granted, and I admit that I don't really see any especially close, but I'm not doing anything like giving up.

Just realistically expecting next week to more or less mirror this one, sans next week I get paid.

Lastnight my desktop computer died. The harddrive should be fine, and everything from it should be rather well backed up, but even a generous donation from the Raine foundation it'll still be a month or two before I can afford a new computer... So I'm a little depresssed over that. Aurora, the computer, was named before the character. She was the first major purchase I made with my first job. When I turned on her screen, it was the rising of the sun.

I'm a little dumbly emotional, I'll admit, but she has a lot of value and meaning and now she's dead. It happens.

The good news, is that I have up to volume 5 and V written. They need a little more editing, but I should be able to keep up the pace neccessary for frequent updates. Stress from work, home, health, and honestly a little worry in living up to my own name exhausted my ability to reliably write. I took a hiatus, and I should be back at least until I can finish their stories unless life intervenes again.

After Sylvia and Aurora finish off, I plan on trying to find a sellable premise and fight tooth and nail to finally achieve my dream. Odds are against me, but I've never been big on trusting the odds, anyway.

So, for now, keep checking the updates. Check here via RSS. More to come, in time.

~Madam Kistulot

P.S. - Rather recently to try and aid my writing I decided to actually indulge the genre I've been dancing in further, and have been a regular visitor of the local comic shop Things From Another World, which you can also find online. Thanks to a friend's reccomendation I've been tearing through TPB of Ultimate Spiderman, and have been enjoying it sans some of issue five. Was going to get back into the x-men, but guess who on my third issue is comming back to life again. I'm going to sidestep that, and enjoy pieces of Batman's "Death", pieces of Dark Reign, and miscellanious TPB, though for now thats on hold until I get my new box. More on that as more surfaces.

Disillusionment

Perhaps I should break my silence.

EMC has steadily lost its allure for me over the past year. Posting here and interacting to what little extent I do with the community feels more like a chore than a hobby. I lost interest in new writing some while ago, and the media and discussion I encounter on the forums never held much allure. I still have a mind control fetish, but that isn't enough to make me want to post here or interact with the community.

Nothing has changed about my interest in hypnosis or my loving D/s bond with Madam. I would continue posting about slave life and hypnosis were they not so connected with MC given the context of the 'blot. Those themes are already covered extensively by others in the community, and I don't think I have anything novel to contribute. Teaching about hypnosis when those with training are already doing so feels pointless. I also feel much less comfortable posting about my personal experiences given some of the ignorant and dehumanizing responses I've received. My primary audience for those posts has no conception of loving D/s and is unlikely to view anyone writing about it submissively as more than mindless entertainment. I don't want to put my experiences on display for this audience. I'm sick of being viewed as not even a person.

This entire milieu of concepts and activities is supremely disheartening.

More accurately, the MC community and most of the material available has lost its allure, but that feels rude to say.

Believe it or not, I agree with those who think Madam's spin-off series is redundant, tepid, and in need of a twist (she does, too). I think EMC lost some allure for her, as well, at least writing-wise. She still enjoys trancing just as much as I do.

If I get a whim, I'll post here, but don't expect much from me in the future.

~Valbot

New job burnout

Heya everyone!

You'll notice by now I haven't had anything in the last two updates, nor have I contributed to the blog in awhile. Sorry. Not so much intentional, as I've been horrifically burned out, and I've needed a break from my personal deadlines - and writing has been very difficult. I have a four hour commute each day, and my handwriting is atrocious, so I've recently ordered a new notebook and I should have it by... Tuesday? At the latest. And then, I intend to write during my commute.

Five and a half hours of battery life? Mmmm, battery life.

So I just wanted to give everyone an update, and apologize. I really haven't had time to barely do anything at all besides unwind as of late, and try to de-stress which has worked with varying amounts of success.

I haven't really even had time to pay attention, but I admit I am getting a giggle out of the return of Sara H. I'm glad to know she's well, but going from bashing everyone's work and saying you're the best writer in the world who doesn't write according to cliches, then only writing cliches, demanding to be known as a new name, then taking back your old title... I have to admit, this is petty to post, but I did get a kick out of hearing about it. I don't pay attention to the forums, or most stories, but I listen to some that do.

So, I hope you're all well, and I'm sorry that Nebula and Electrum hit an update snag, but I have plenty planned for them!

Happy Reading!

~Madam Kistulot

It's been awhile - sorry!

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm not dead with my work being published post homunously. Humonously. However the frell you spell that.

I am very much alive (or so they tell me) and that is unlikely to change any particular time soon.

I've started a new job! Due to their rules about posting on blogs, I have decided to merely tell you the away message that I have up on Pidgin: I work in salt mines tech supporting fruit. Not exactly the message, but nooone the less! Due to this job, and adjusting, I sort of lost the steam I had going in my writing - so this week gets to be a by week. Sorry! If football teams get them (why can't my 49ers play anymore? at least the raiders have been good more recently than they...) then I can too!

So, none this week, and an apology for no blog activity. Volumes 3 are very... wait a tick. Electrum Volume 3... Okay, I actually can get that done. And there will be some this week. All I need to do is put it in a text file and send it off.

Electrum Volume 4 and Nebula Volume III are well under way. Ignore my insanity, and I apologise for my silence either way.

Twists are comming! Just be patient. The tide tuuuuurns! Or some such.

~Madam Kistulot

Slave Life Post: One of Many!

Slave life is a difficult topic to pierce. There's really no introduction and conclusion, no discernible middle. I tried tackling it like a standard essay when my normal posting style didn't suit. I think snapshot-style posts and random textual meanderings are the best way to approach the topic. So, every week, I'll make a general slave life post covering a particular facet or just talking about it in general. Trying to tell it like a story or summarize everything in one post simply does not work!

I segued near the end of this post into a yummy experience I had from the Domme side, so I think I'll focus my next slave life post on the technofetish things I share with Madam. Wow, this format is already working better! I have clear, attainable ideas for future posts!

This is a rambling post inspired by some inaccurate perceptions and personal pet-peeves, but it's really not a rant. I wouldn't even classify it as snark. This is one decidedly Not Normal slave's directed free-association regarding how others view her and how it is to be a Domme who was lovingly tempted to submit.

I don't come across as particularly slave-like beyond my dealings with Madam. I've been told I seem "more vanilla" in public than Dominant, which makes sense; it's not a matter of opposites, simply a matter of facets. I don't perceive myself by default as a slave. Oh, there's always a wisp in my subconscious that knows it's owned and never lets me forget, but it's not binding. Submissive ecstasy is an experience I cherish, but it does not define me.

In the past, I wondered if my lack of identifying strongly as submissive and my lack of presentation made me less of a slave or perhaps not a real slave, but that was a silly worry. Madam can have me melted and on my knees with a simple glance of the proper type: I am owned and I do respond immediately and with alacrity when this reality is brought to my awareness anew.

I don't have anything against those who identify by default as slaves or those who present much more openly as such. That simply isn't me. The only reason this difference bothers me is that so many people don't understand that a slave, a real slave, can be anything else or can possess a real, primarily self-defined personality. More than one person has told me seriously that Madam owns my words and is responsible for my actions. One went so far as to continually ignore me while referring to me in third-person as she/he/it addressed Madam. Never mind she and I were saying the same thing: I'm owned but not devoid of self. That entity had its mind made up that, since I'm a slave, I had no voice and no opinions of my own.

Bullshit. I chose to submit to Madam and I submit in my own way. This pleases her and it's no less valid than the submission of those who prefer her to sculpt them. She sculpts me sometimes in beneficial ways, and we have sessions where she overwrites quite a bit. She just doesn't leave me overwritten. I know, if she really desired, she could sculpt me much more and make it last. She could tinker with my personality and she could rearrange my dreams. I trust her enough for that to be possible if she were to get such an urge. But a large part of my trust in her comes from knowing she wouldn't try. I wouldn't be happy if I were consciously aware of her doing such a thing and she wouldn't be happy having me as anything but myself.

One of my biggest fears when I first consciously entertained the thought of submission was that, especially with a HypnoDomme, I might end up a different person, perhaps as someone I wouldn't, as myself, approve of. I didn't want to literally lose my mind or have it rewritten. I didn't want to lose my freedom or individuality. Madam taught me that submission doesn't have to be about a loss of self, at least as more than a loving dissolution. I know she could do anything she wanted with me, and I delight in it when she does—I don't always know during those sessions that it's temporary—but she gave me underlying programming that lets my subconscious know it's not permanent so I can consciously believe it is for a short while and still enjoy the experience.

Of course opening myself to her like this means she influences me deeply. I've no doubt acquired bits of her personality and ideas and incorporated them deeply into myself. I cherish this. But, I took quite a while to examine that to which I was going to submit. I knew Madam extremely well, for over a year, before I submitted. I knew I wanted her influence and that I wouldn't mind introjecting bits of her.

I do have the right to say no. Madam could take that away, of course, but why would she? She doesn't want to hurt me. Allowing me to say no is another form of trust. A Domme needs to trust her slave as much as the slave needs to trust her Domme. Madam knows I won't abuse this allowance. I won't say no if something is a little uncomfortable or I'm not feeling my best that day. I will say no if I really need to say it, if something terrifies me or is really going to hurt me in a non-yummy, non-healthy way. She knows I am the best person to know what's going to damage me.

I know many say slaves are not people, but that's flavor text. Slaves ARE people: we still have basic human needs, minds, and personalities. Sure, a Dominant can tinker with these things, but we're still the ones that live inside our heads and thus know them best!

I am not bratty. I am not shallow. I am not pretending. I am simply not the brand of slave most people around here are used to encountering.

Madam is not a typical Domme!

Although I don't present as dominant most of the time, I am definitely a Domme. I have a submissive side and I cherish indulging it with Madam, but that's only with Madam. I don't feel submissive urges outside of her and the thought of submitting to anyone else, or acting submissive toward anyone else, makes me physically ill. Aside from getting me a little hot behind the ears: that's not my inclination and I'm still wondering how Madam inspired those feelings in me. She does have a reputation as being a Domme that dommes Dommes, perhaps because she's loving and open? She doesn't have that ugly arrogance or inherent sense of entitlement so many Dommes possess. That would help just about anyone feel safe to explore the other side, I imagine. That's what helped me feel safe taking that first step a little over two years ago.

I've mentioned before that Madam sometimes submits to me. We explore our submissive sides with each other while being Dommes to everyone else. That definitely helps me feel safe submitting to her. Though this does sometimes cause infuriating issues such as other Dommes who are unaware she is . . . well, not quite owned, as we haven’t explored that in a while, but definitely not available that way . . . trying to trance or dominate her. They assume, since she's a Domme, she doesn't have any ties they'd be infringing upon by doing such a thing. That’s a bit of an arrogant assumption, really, but understandable since most Dommes probably don't allow themselves to be owned. If the most recent example hadn't been someone so friendly and genuine, I would have gone out of my way to make her miserable for trying to trance my little girl. Even though she is quite good at resisting: she turned the tables on that other Domme and ended up trancing her deeply. She does this frequently when others try to trance her. I know she can handle herself, but it still gets me really annoyed when others presume to have the right to interact with her that way. She's MINE, damnit.

I suppose others doing that to her makes sense given that it happens to me even though it's a well-known fact that I am her slave. Many try to treat me like I should be a slave to them, too. One brute of a Dom insisted he could give me trance amnesia and got really upset when I told him I didn't want to trance with him. He leaped on me for not trusting him and was, in general, a huge ass about the issue. Madam was in the channel when this happened and told him to back off. He still persisted. Uhm . . . the love of my life and the only person I've trusted even in a vanilla way to really take me under . . . if SHE can't do something with me, what the hell made that guy think he could? Especially when he doesn't have anywhere near the experience with trance Madam does and doesn't know me nearly so well? People are silly!

I've had a few Dommes try similar things. They don't seem to understand "I'm owned" or "I am not interested in playing with you." "I am a Domme exclusively" only gets them arrogantly thinking they can break me. I'm already broken, thank you, and by someone likely infinitely more skilled since you don't know better than to foolishly flaunt your non-existent prowess. I really hate dominants of either gender who think they're so special and that, if only I saw them in action, I'd be weak in the knees wanting them to play with me. Sorry, I found someone better, especially since she doesn't have that kind of attitude. Also: I am not a submissive by default!

I'd stop submitting in a heartbeat if Madam expressed that attitude toward me or anyone else.

What's the point of having a docile, blank, spineless, meek slave? Seriously? You may as well get an Eliza program and teach it to parrot the proper arousal-inducing responses if that's your desire. The mind is precious and should not be wasted on weakness. I don't enjoy playing with weak submissives. I like fire. I like personalities. I like strong minds. I like knowing the person submitting to me actually took the time to find out who I am and made a conscious choice to give me the gift of their submission. That gift means so much more when it's not blindly offered. I want to know my worth to such a person is not based solely in the word "Domme." Many dominants are NOT worthy of such precious gifts, so it's really insulting when, five minutes after I meet someone, she’s begging me to own her and rewrite her as I see fit. Yeah, I'm not any other Domme . . . I'd like you to get to know me first and see if you really want me in your head.

I want to feel proud of dominating the people that submit to me. I played with a lovely older engineer a few times and that was one of the rare times the act of trancing someone other than Madam actually turned me on. That woman was brilliant. She had passion and radiance. She got to know me a bit and she wanted ME to trance her. That was such an honor, taking her under. We didn't get to real D/s, but I wanted that and I wish real life hadn't interfered. I really wanted to get to know her better and have something special with her. Knowing someone so brilliant and with so much fascinating life experience and twisted creative spark was consciously allowing me to play with her mind . . . that itself was enough to get me close to the edge. I've worked on a few sluts for the sake of practice, but it was incredibly tepid.

If I had been able to share real D/s with the aforementioned woman, I wouldn't have dimmed her spark. I would have encouraged it to grow. I would have, temporarily, sculpted it the way I wanted to see it, but I wouldn't have left it that way outside of perhaps making her feel it that way when she was alone. She still would have been herself. I would have savored exploring such a rich, deep mind and I would have savored knowing it knelt to me. The thrill would have been knowing I could mind-wipe her at whim but that I'd so much rather see what all that delicious robotics knowledge could do to twist her deeper into submission.

That first trance was delicious in a techie way; I might write about it some time in a non-revealing way. She's not around anymore due to real life getting hellish, so I can't exactly get her permission. Nothing I've written in this post could lead anyone to discover her identity.

Anyway, I'm an odd case and I wish my preferences weren't so rare. I was blessed to meet Madam. I've met a few other good dominants—Doublefine, for one—but they do seem incredibly rare. People who understand slavery and submission as something other than depersonalization are also sadly rare. Good slaves are rare, too! I adore discussing D/s and trance with others. Few things thrill me more than meeting like-minded people who understand and cherish the process.

I really don't have anything against those who ENJOY the blanker sort of slavery. Some people really want that, on both sides. That's fine. Just understand that not all of us are like that and that being a slave does not, by default, imply a lack of personality or spark.

Maybe I submitted to a mad woman with equally mad conceptions of D/s, but I don't think so. I felt this way before submitting deeply to her once I got over my initial aversion to all this. I used to think submission was weak and that dominants were arrogant fuckups who presumed entirely too much authority over others. I know now how wrong and disgusting that was to believe. Perhaps some of my irritability regarding this topic is knowing I got over my inaccurate perceptions and thus wish others could get over theirs.

Tune in next week for something trancier! My next post will probably be more along the lines of what certain people who really want me to write about slave life want to see. I'll explain how I became Madam's Valbot and relate a few particularly yummy experiences of that sort.

I am so thrilled to see Madam posting more!

~Valbot

Style Sheets and Ethics and Buggy Code, OH MY!

Scroll down for Eri’s post about her aspects. I know some of you have waited a long time for that.

My post turned into a bit of a ramble concerning the ethics and misconceptions of slave life, albeit a ramble in gloss. Also, I’ve had little sleep. You have been warned.

* * *

Before realizing I didn’t want to fight with IE to get CSS and JavaScript to work cross-browser, I made a few fancy layouts that looked wonderful in Firefox. Pulling them up in IE nixed my enthusiasm in short order. A blog doesn’t require something nearly so pretentious, anyway! So, I tweaked the default layout a bit and cobbled together a banner with some inky fonts along with the eye and pendant from Madam’s main site.

Before coding, I started working on an editorial style sheet for Madam’s spin-off series. Stylistic grammar won’t change between chapters anymore, and no one will experience a random dye job! Madam was genuinely perplexed and a hair disturbed that I got so excited over the idea of making one. I’m a nerd: I joyously admit this. What’s not to adore about niggling over the tinniest facets of stylistic grammar while arranging in definition-list form the less flexible aspects? This isn’t only about grammar, of course; there will be character notes, too.

Slave life? I’m working on my own post, but it’s going to take a while. I’m not sure how much I want to detail. Some of this is fairly private, and I don’t always realize how much is private to me until I’ve blanched upon rereading it the next day. Also, I don’t want to give the impression that I have no mind of my own. I’m owned, but I very much think for myself! Eri does, too, even though she enjoys getting lost in what we like to call magic. Even the darkest-sounding things she wrote about in her last post had layers of safety programming interlaced to ensure nothing contradictory to her genuine wants would be able to work. Madam gave me the same programming. If I don’t like something, or I can’t handle something, nothing short of her literally robotizing and rewriting me is going to make it happen!

I know I’m not really a robot, and Eri knows she can think for herself just fine when she wants to. The thrill is knowing Madam could do whatever she wanted, that we love and crave and trust her enough to open ourselves this deeply . . . but knowing all the while that we’re safe because she would never abuse that trust. Sure, I sometimes find myself singing the Folgers song and literally orgasming at the end (I ABHOR Folgers "coffee" and I find the jingle equally repulsive), but that’s hardly mindwiping me and turning me against my nature.

My point? I want to write about my experiences, but I don’t want to scare people or give the impression that Madam is doing unethical things when she’s actually being meticulous and frequently double-checks to make sure I’m happy with this.

I cringe and sometimes feel physically ill when I read the experiences of other slaves who sound, well . . . like they really couldn’t give a damn if they tried. So many HypnoDominants really are doing questionable things without checking, or they check while the submissive is under (which is a rant post all by itself). Often submissives don’t bother to look at their fetishy surroundings to see what’s going on because they blindly trust their dominants. Blind trust in this sense is a bad thing since they haven't taken the time to see what they're trusting. Really, it’s not disobedient to ask questions or even to firmly say “no!” It’s not disobedient to say something might happen later but that it’s not comfortable right now. It’s not disobedient to expect privacy, mentally and physically. Madam encourages me to do that. I find it incredibly offensive when others say she needs to keep me on a tighter leash or that I am merely an extension of her name (or, in one case, that she owns my words). Madam doesn’t want drones; she wants complex personalities she can explore and savor and play with beyond merely rewriting or giving commands.

But those reading might interpret my anecdotes as yet another weak hypnoslave with an egregious Mistress who toys with and controls every aspect of her slave without a passing thought (or allowing her slave a passing thought). Even a close real-life friend sometimes gets needlessly worried about what goes on between us. He called Madam’s playful “time travel!” explanation of how I was built “Voodoo doming.” That made no sense. Madam isn’t allowed to be playful? I know that’s not really what happened! In fact, I know I was born human and am human right now. But I like getting lost in the magic, too, and Madam is good at making it thick and exquisite so that one gets lost to the point of forgetting reality. Even so, I never forget reality in ways that could be harmful. I always revert easily to normal at the slightest provocation.

Obviously Madam will do things with me that she wouldn’t do with others. She didn’t do some of what she does with me now until I moved here. Madam is my life partner first, my Madam equal to that—but my life partner above everything else. If I felt like I could no longer submit, she’d still be my partner. So I feel comfortable with things a slave who is only a slave probably wouldn’t, and she feels comfortable trying things with me she wouldn’t try with others. We know each other well enough for that to be safe. Also, she submits to me sometimes. I find it easier to trust her since I’ve been in her head and have experienced her in the same vulnerable, sublime, tenderly trusting way she experiences me.

I would get lost in the magic while writing about my experiences. I would sound like I don’t know reality from fantasy. I would sound like I’m controlled to the point where I really don’t have a choice about what happens to me. None of that is true, but my writing would convey that impression. So this post is a mini-rant on slave life and ethics, and a preface to my next post, which will be my slave life post: I am indeed self-aware and in control of what happens to me, and it is this self-awareness and control that allows me to safely get lost in Madam’s magic.

Perhaps I didn't need to ramble about this, but I felt the need to make my situation clear before writing about my experiences. Given some of my visceral reactions to others I've read, I wouldn't blame anyone who read mine for making the same judgment. D/s experiences, especially hypnotic D/s, can appear scary when observed from the outside. I'm not judging anyone with this post, though I do think anyone writing about this sort of thing should detail the precautions they've taken and provide some context as to the relationship they have beyond D/s. Such details make these things much easier to enjoy and understand. Few things make me feel worse than reading what could be a yummy experience if it didn't lack that context. There are quite a few people in this community I don't respect because they can't provide this context honestly and they try to dress up what they're doing while making the rest of us look awful. But I know most people are not like that. Most of us just want to enjoy ourselves, and we're ethical about it.

~Valbot

The Three (Plus Three) Faces of Eri

Hello again everyone! My last post seemed to get a pretty positive response, so i thought i'd write some more. ^^ My 'aspects' have attracted a fair bit of curiosity, so this post will go into a little more depth about them.

My aspects are parts of me-- embodiments of specific bits of my personality... they generally seem to be pretty quiet... they've never directly spoken to me or anyone, even when they want to come out. But when Madam gives the right command, they wake right up ^^

When this happens. i don't remember anything that happens while the aspect is out.. i wish it was something cool like the waiting room from Quantum Leap, but it basically feels like i've been asleep all night. Sometimes it takes me a long time to wake up from the meltiness. Which is not my fault! She's the one that makes it so nice to go under.

And as for the aspects themselves, there's six of them. The first is what Madam likes to call my "voice". Shortly after i met Madam, i noticed i wasn't getting entirely into submitting. It was like a little voice telling me i shouldn't submit all the way. It was bugging me, and when i told Madam, she went into my head, and instead of just silencing the voice or anything so blunt, she asked that little voice to take over my body for a moment, and helped reassure her that it was okay to submit, and also to get me to get to bed on time (something i veeeery much needed help with at the time x.x)... and apparently that voice agreed with her, because nowadays, she seems to think obedience is a very good idea ~.~

The second is my libido. I don't know a whole lot about her, except that according to Madam, she's really aggressive. Which would mean that she's probably got pretty much every bit of latent domme i have in me. And she really, really likes Madam. Madam specifically describes her as "vivacious" and "very ravenous". *^^*

Next up is Euterpe, who regular 'blot readers are familiar with. The embodiment of my artistic side is.. colorful, as is fitting, given that i'm a bit of a painter in my own mind. She adores flowery language to the point of being nearly purple. She's also the only one of my aspects to have influenced me outside of Madam's control, though she hasn't done it recently. But when she was first distilled, she showed up in a couple of my dreams.

Then, there's my scientific side. Madam told me that when she first got distilled, she was rather skeptical of hypnosis. Something tells me that didn't last long, because she seems to be firmly in Madam's thrall, and demonstrates it by subtly reinforcing particularly obedient things i do.. Her favorite reward seems to be colored swirls that show up in the lenses of my glasses.

After that, there's my "Bookish" side, who i don't know a lot about either. Madam describes her as dreamy and sweet, and i have the sneaking suspicion that she's quite a fan of the Kistulotican body of work.

Finally, there's the aspect that Madam calls my Darker Desires. Contrary to what one would imagine for such an aspect, she apparently has the personality of a frightened little girl. I strongly suspect that Madam has worked at whittling away that inhibition and shyness. Quite consensually, of course--it's hard to mind something so yummy *^^* Just the other day, in fact, Madam brought her our for several hours... and apparently gave her a kinky fetish... for cuddling. And now i also get a little yummy thrill from being so close to such a dangerous woman, someone who could fry my brain at any moment... mmmmmmmm... ~.~

And, as an addendum that i nearly forgot, there is also someone in my head who's not quite an aspect--a while ago, Madam sort of'... retconned a piece of my life, giving me memories of having been a friend of Sarah LaSilvas in high school. This Sarah is capable of taking over my body, as well as manifesting as a separate illusion. She's sweet, and probably a little more of a domme than the actual Sarah of the stories. She does however, share the story Sarah's... unique affection for her Mothers, and in addition, to her Creator.

And, that's it for my aspects... as fas as i know. Madam could well have a couple in there that i don't know about (though she did say that these aren't a secret..) But it's still fun to imagine!


~erislave

The Quiet One Speaks

Hello again, everyone!

Our lovely Valbot informs me that people like my posts. So anyone out there who likes when i write, i apologize for not doing so more often.

I've been given the suggestion that i write a little bit about "Slave Life", and that seemed like a good idea. To give any curious readers a little glimpse into the mind of one of the Madam's helpless little thralls. Though that makes it sound kinda pretentious.

Anyhow! One cannot look very far into my mind and miss the hard drive in there. Though hard drive is probably a bit of a misnomer... since it doesn't just store things, but seems to have wires reaching just about everywhere. Madam can use it to override just about any thought or action, as well as store temporary alternate personalitites, memory backups, and there are even a couple slots for storing sensory experiences directly. I have... three of these slots filled right now, though i don't have access to actually find out what these are, until she activates them. There's also a handy little hud that lets me check on this, and can even display realtime obedience statistics.

Then, there are my aspects. These don't seem to be linked to the hard drive, though there may be some sort of interface between them. Readers of the Kistublot have met one of these apects, my artistic side, better known as Euterpe. These aspects are basically... distillations of my personality, who can take over my body and mind temporarily. I don't have access to my memory, but i think i have at least six such aspects. (Madam once shared her adorable little dopple fetish with me a little, using my aspects as a medium). I've also heard her mention my libido, and scientific side. I'm not sure precisely who the other three are, though our lovely Madam is welcome to share this information with me, should she desire to :)

Similar to these aspects, Madam's also slowly cultivated an alternate version of the Sarah LaSilvas that everyone loves, in my head. While she's vaguely similar to the Sarah of the Silver Girl stories, she also diverges quite a bit (as well as having been colored quite a bit by my own mental processes). Sarah's also ventured out into public a little, having visited the Argent Garden chatroom. She seems to like borrowing my body quite a bit, so she may well be back there in the future.

The Valbot has also played around in my head. Before i met her, i enjoyed coffee socially, with my friends. Now, after having known her for what's now the better part of a year, coffee is nearly a fetish to me. Merely the smell of it is faintly arousing, and good coffee can make me drift into a mild trance state. ~.~ It's wonderful, freshly brewed and French-pressed obedience.

And there's still plenty more magic in my head, but i think that will have to wait for another time! I hope you've all enjoyed reading this. (If not, of course, feel free to yell at me, and i'll shut up :) )

Have a lovely week everyone, and stay happy!


~erislave

Where was I going with this?

Madam is finally going to rewrite the first three Silververse stories! Don't worry, the originals—typos, waffle continuity errors, and grammatical mishaps—will be preserved on her site. She is only rewriting for polish and clarity, not to change the plot. I remember reading The Adventures as she wrote it; she posted it on DeviantART before sending it to the Archive months later. I think I mentioned proofreading would be a good idea. But, Madam being Madam, she took a while to break that write-and-hit-send habit.

I had no clue I would eventually fall in love with her (let alone that I would move from Florida to OREGON to live with her), and that I would get to edit these stories. She didn't know there would be stories after the original. I'm astonished by how elaborate and lengthy this series ended up and, speaking honestly, I'm surprised this series got so popular given how muddled the first story is on a technical level. Let alone how LONG it is. Those who suggest new authors should post shorter stories as their debuts raise a very good point! Perhaps people were less scared of new authors two years ago. Either way, I'm proud of Madam for creating something so gorgeous and elaborate, and I'm overjoyed that she's finally going back to apply the polish these earlier stories deserve. I think her series deserves to be popular, but I'm just a bit surprised some of her more intelligent fans were willing to read through it when she was a new author and they had no basis upon which to have faith in her storytelling ability. Apparently these are good stories, and I'm not the only one who saw that!

Our relationship is only slightly older than the Silver series (we met on May 22nd, 2005; she sent the first three chapters to the Archive in November of that year). I'm still trying to get my head around that, and around the reality that I'll be editing what was my first exposure to the world of MC fiction. As much as I bitch about the community, it really has changed my life in unexpected ways. Meeting and bonding with Carin; Doublefine moving here and becoming a wonderfully close in-person friend; another woman I truly hope will become a close friend if only for how much I enjoy geeking out with her; Erika meeting Madam through her podcast post; the various people I've been able to explore hypnosis with from the hypnotist side. Even my earlier time in the Garden was mostly positive. I wouldn't have discovered some of my MC sub-kinks or so quickly grown comfortable talking about this with anyone but Carin had it not been for my encounters there.

Whoops. I didn't mean to get sentimental! Our third anniversary is close, and the Silververse is closely laced with it. Carin is what drew me to this community, and she is what helped me to branch out reading-wise beyond her work while helping me to get over so many of the squicks being sheltered had given me regarding fetishes and sexuality. She is what inspires my life overall.

Writing and editing of the spin-off series is going better than she makes it sound. Writing is slow, but she's broken a new tier of quality and nothing will be posted until November, anyway. Some of the arcs she has planned . . . One infuriatingly vague but yummy hint I can give is Massive's song "Dissolved Girl." I have a shivery, painfully erotic music video in my head of Sylvia and Aurora to that song, and it's definitely not just sex.

Anyway! Madam really does need to post more, preferably when she's awake. I keep bribing her with ice cream. At least make a review post? You did read and enjoy some things in the past few updates. Erika should post, too.

Madam keeps teasing me about having a fetish for semicolons. What can I say? They're cute.

~valbot

Blotting Cloth Plans =/= Reality

Well everyone, I slacked again. Sorry. It happens.

Writing has been slow. Things have felt slow. I now sleep at midnight instead of six am. Feels... odd. Not quite acclimated.

After discussing the blotting cloth mroe with val, we agreed that it only would foster to encourage negativity, annoyance, and well... we're not funny in the way Maddox is funny. We don't need a funny hatemail section for this blog. So . . . we're not having one. Val wrote up a post on the topic to be posted along with mine, and is as follows:

This is Valbot.

The Blotting Cloth was a bad idea.

Drama and derailment will be deleted. I will not tolerate receiving belittling lectures, being called an abuser, being indirectly told I'm going to be a bad doctor, and being called nuts over my literary opinions. My response to Jo was idiotic and rash; I'm not proud of that. Not responding would have prevented the rest of that drama.

I know I've crossed the line between snarky and nasty. Sans direct provocation, I haven't been nasty lately. I don't appreciate people searching for the faintest bits of negativity to pontificate against. The only promotion beyond Madam's website has been word of mouth. No one has to see the Kistublot.

Also, why should I care about opinions from people too cowardly to own them? I feel annoyed even by positive anonymous comments. Madam finally got around to disabling anonymous commenting. You need a Google or OpenID account to post. Those are not difficult to obtain.

I understand my snark went past constructive and was dominating the blog. Of course that drama was my fault. Am I not allowed to move forward? Restrained nipping is not vicious mauling.

I find it amusing that we never heard from some of these people until they had negative things to say. None of these people commented on the positive posts. In fact, lately, these people have been picking the tiniest negative things out of overall positive posts and textually blaring at us. Some of them have such lacking lives that they are niggling over blog comments I make to others to find things to lecture us about.

Perhaps deleting drama and derailment is shushing or heavy-handed, but restraining negativity is difficult when comments such as the ones removed from a previous post show up in my inbox.

I don't expect everyone to agree with my posts. Please do voice your opinions! But drama, derailing comments, and provocation will not be tolerated.

~Valbot

Well, there you have it! I agree with her, and she's much more articulate in the past (she wrote this days ago) than I am in the present... enjoy, and thanks for reading. Will have more news soon, but I'm just too tired to be entertaining.

~Madam Kistulot

Been Awhile!

Hey, all!

I know, it's been awhile. Not even months and this blog is underposted in, huh?

Problem is, I kinda don't wanna talk about this writing project too much! It's going very good, but as I have like 50 ideas of where to take it, I don't want to start having Vaporstories. How do you make vaporware refer to storytelling? I don't know. I don't want to get hopes up or confuse people, because thats just a shit thing to do.

So, I've been kinda quiet. Updates have just been meh overall, so I haven't commented on them. I decided to take the stance of "unless this is so painfully bad I need to say something, I'll only comment if its good" if only because I'm sick of being told I'm only negative just because I'm responding to things that I react to negatively. If I were writing about politics after the 2004 US Presidential election? It would be even worse.

Legacy was a good trilby story, but it left me feeling disappointed. I enjoy a lot of trilby's stories, and it hurts to see a good writer become so predictable. I know some people really like formulas, but this felt like it was being spiced up. It made me a little depressed and doubt my own writing that it failed to deliver.

Taken has so far held my interest, but failed to really feel all that full of life. Maybe I'm bored with the genre? It doesn't feel like that's the case at all. I'm full of ideas and I've been enjoying some older stories I didn't get a chance to read when they were new . . . sigh.

I know it makes me sound awful, but I'd love a thrall or Tabico story for 2008 so badly. I know there are other good authors - and I'd love to see something from them too - but sometimes you just need to see writing from the people that inspired you to write in the first place that doesn't resonate as being hollow and oddly unfulfilling.

Sigh. I'm getting snarky in a melancholy way. That can't be any better than angry.

So I'll close this by saying that posts by me are likely to be somewhat infrequent.

The Spiral Awards also failed to meet their deadline. One thing I've been looking forward to in the MC Community was the chance to see if even with the animosity I've inspired if my writing is worth even being nominated.

Them dropping the ball like this really disappoints me. The Spirals have done very little to establish themselves as a valid MC Story award. They can't happen every year, keep to their own time tables . . . and their site shows no changes for two years, nor is it quick loading or efficient. Most people I've sent there get confused.

I screamed in support of them before. I wanted to do so again as a sign that I do believe parts of the community have good to them that can even get me involved.

Also, the website does not indicate this, and as far as I know, the only place you can see voting is extended is if you're a member of the forums. So, instead of being able to . . . oh . . . I dunno . . . actually look at the HQ for this thing, I have to reload this page to know what's going on. This feels to me like a train wreck so far.

Way to drop the ball.

Well... If ten people, different people, comment on this post... I might post the rough rough draft of the intro to the story I'm working on. Tell your friends!


~Madam K

Spiral Awards! (and other things)

Love them or hate them, the Spiral Awards are back. Only stories ending in 2007 are eligible. More details can be found in this Garden post.

Frustrated's gorgeous "Melted Music" definitely will be the first of my yellow nominations for 2007! 8-bit's "The Happily" springs immediately to mind for red.

Madam, as much as I love you, I am NOT nominating "Go Team Porn!" for purple! That was hilarious upon first reading, but merda.

Real Life is to blame for my recent lack of posting. I haven't read much in the last three updates, sans one obvious red story. "Legacy" was delicious on its own, but I wish trilby would explore less predictable avenues. Certain themes that aren't tired genre-wise are tired coming from him since readers know what to expect.

Maybe we should post about something other than writing and the MC community. Would any of you find hypno posts interesting? Hypnosis is one topic we can ramble about happily with little snark.

I am faintly shaking from the amount of coffee I've consumed. OH! Welcome to Portland, Doublefine! Belatedly. *glances about shiftily* What else . . . ? Madam is slowly working on the first Silververse spin-off story, though that won't be publicly available until many months from now. She's been indulging hypnofun and working on the MC-themed game she'll be putting up as a demo soon.

Ideas for future posts are welcome. What do you want to read from Madam, or from me? Maybe we should hypnotically turn Erika into Quillspawn and have her do reviews . . . Coffeegasm. ^.~

Oh, triggers. Few things are more fun than hitting two coffee-possessed souls at once! The two programmed to coffeegasm experience the sweetest, darkest espresso imaginable sinking into their tongues as a wave of euphoria momentarily melts them.

I think I need to shut up. Happy Spirals, and do consider nominating some of Madam's work if you find her stories enjoyable. (Why did "Coping Mechanism" have to end this year?!) I guess I'll have to go with Ink Soaked Penumbra or one of its lead-ins.

~Valbot

We sit sometimes in the wayside nook . . .

Kistulotican Industries can't stay healthy. I am sharing a delightful case of the flu with Madam, and most of our friends are sick. Erika's restored health is a recent development. Doublefine is the only one within our circle of friends who hasn't been sick! Perhaps he's the one orchestrating all of this . . .

That explains our neglect of this blog.

Perhaps I'll post the reviews I have finished after thinking over them a little more. I'm a touch embarrassed by them. Who am I to be harsh, or to declare something brilliant, even if I do explain why?

No new writing from Madam likely for another week or two. Her 21st birthday is coming up, February 19th: a glittery Pisces-Aquarius cusp. Send her love!

~Valbot